YWF Rant 08-07-07 The only chain letter worth reading

I got this ‘chain letter’ from a friend yesterday, someone who had forwarded one of those real annoying chain letters to me before and I had advised my friend they had been duped. It is supposedly originally from a Billy Connolly, although there is no proof that this means Billy Connolly the Scottish comedian / actor. Here’s the letter in full:

Subject: FW: The only chain letter worth reading
BILLY CONNOLLY’S CHAIN LETTER
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50
billion f***ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe if
you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Scotland with a breast on her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send “his” email, $1000? How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid
by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St
Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the
Endeavour. F*** ‘em!! If you’re going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing.

I’ve seen all the “send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
omniscient being”. I don’t f***ing care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing
to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it’s our own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a
dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per
letter he’ll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly
P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then f*** off

Now sure, I want to get YWFAID off the ground to raise money for charity /UNICEF / Darfur but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor! ( I am English, afterall!). You have my permission to ‘rip’ this text & put it on your blog / website if you want. Annoying emails are just as bad as the ’snail mail’ postal scams I’ve had a go at.

(Update 20 minutes after posting. I removed 5 words of my own text because a comment had a point. Comments now disabled because I had a total of 305 comments in my wordpress admin and 99.999999999999% were spam porn/pill links)